Pranks
by ThisisPorky
Summary: One day, Heavy and Sniper decide to prank the other team-members.


_**as requested by cmara on da. : D hopethisisgoodforya**_

* * *

It was a bright and sunny day at the Teu_Fort base. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the Russian and Australian were sat outside in the warmth of the rays. Sniper was enjoying his coffee as he sat back on one of the crates, his back pressed against the wall while the Heavy Weapons guy simply stood with his arms crossed. One might have said that inside the bears head, the clogs of his brain were turning in thought.

Then a thought hit him.

'Vhy don't me and leetle Sniper play pranks on baby team?'

'...Wot, n snope down ta Scouts level?'

'Vell, it be fun!'

'...'

The odd look Heavy received from the other made him laugh a little. '...Kay. Suppose it would be fun. But oI'm getting Scout back mo'y way.'

'Da!'

With that, the two got plotting in hushed tones.

* * *

Just as Scout was about to reach in to the fridge for his beloved _BONK!_, he was stopped by the Sniper placing his hand on his shoulder. 'Lookin' for this, mate?' He asked, handing the RED the cherry flavoured drink. 'oI stopped 'eavy from drinkin' it. Well, he was tro'ying to taste it, but oI knew you wouldn't lo'ike that very much.'

'Aw, thanks, Snipes!' Scout took his first few long gulps, and Sniper could see the look of joy turn to a look of confusion on the boy's face. He couldn't stop a small smirk from crossing his face.

'Yo, this tastes funny... ...Why are ya laughin'?'

'I put my piss in your drink...'

In a matter of seconds, Scout was spitting and coughing like crazy, eyes as wide as plates. Sniper, meanwhile, was in flurries of laughter, holding his stomach. Tears soon streamed out of his eyes as Scout put on more of a show, and he narrowly avoided a can filled with piss and the other weird liquid that were mixed inside that was angrily thrown at his head. The can smashed against the wall behind the jarate man, causing the liquid to explode out of it, staining all the cabinets and the floor in weird looking colour.

'YA FUCKIN' ASSHOLE WHY THE HELL YOU DONE THAT?!'

'Karma's a bitch, mate!'

That being enough to say, Sniper dashed out of the room, his boisterous laughter heard echoing down the hallway. Scout just held his stomach, sticking his tongue out as a string of disgusted moans left him. And before long, the bunny was rushing to where the toilet was, covering his mouth with a bandaged hand.

'Sniper met up with the Heavy soon after the incident, still chuckling his little heart out.

'I take prank on leetle bunny vent vell?'

'Yeah, it did!'

'Vell, big man have prank for Soldier.'

'Oh? And whats that?'

* * *

Soldier liked his coffee in the morning. Not the hyper-active stuff that makes you twitchy and all over the place, the stuff that's just right in both its strength and the taste. But, this morning, the mans coffee had been changed to the really hyper stuff. The full 'Murican was already bad enough normally. This would just set him off the edge.

Sniper and Heavy sat on the couch, awaiting their prey. And in he soon came in to the room, marching like he normally did. He glanced to the settee to see the pair.

'Good morning, privates!' He barked in his usual loud tone.

'G'mornin', mate.'

'Da.'

He made his drink in expert time, and gulped it down just as fast. He wasn't one to moan about the scolding hot flavoured water, which just made things easier for the two. They both hid snickers as he marched on past, only to see him stop.

'Boy, that coffee sure tasted stronger than it usually does!' He commented. He then left, a loud and random laughter escaping Solider's body. Wow, that was working faster than expected. In came a surprised looking Engineer to a bunch of smiling idiots.

'Whats wrong we' ol' Solly? I realized he'd be hittin' the barrel but this is way earlier than I expected...'

'Maybe jus' the mornin' run, ay, mate?'

'Yeah, probably. What did he 'ave this mornin' - that coffee?'

'Da! A lot of it!'

'Well, then, looks like I'm havin' that!'

With that, the small Texan made himself a drink of the hyper injected coffee and later walked out, waving soft good-byes. Then, Solider came rushing back in, his helmet missing and eyes as wide as ever. A creepy grin was plastered to his face as he stopped and stared at the two before a long chuckle came from his shaking body.

'I FEEL ALIVE, BOY'S! AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANNA DO WHEN I FEEL LIKE THIS!?' The two shuck their heads. 'NO?! NEITHER DO I! I AM PANIS CUPCAKE!' He dashed off again, heavy laughter heard as he galloped his way down the hallway again. Sniper was beginning to think that this was a bad idea.

'Okay, who next, tiny man? I on two pranked, you only one.'

'Two? Why two?'

'Because soon, tiny Engineer vill be like Solider.'

'...Oh. Well, I need ta get Spook back. ...Jus' 'cause he's a Spy, and oI hate Spies...'

* * *

The French man had just left the showers from his early morning bathe, a towel hanging around his skinny waist. He was dripping with water, and was making his way to his room. As he entered, he dried himself quickly before covering his skin with a smart and clean, fresh suit. The only thing to sort out now was his thick bangs of black yet already greying hair. He hated having to cover it up while it was still wet.

'I...have never seen slendermans face before... How did baby Sniper know this vas best place to look?'

'...Uh...jus'...did. Look, 'e's gonna use it.' Shoving the rifle in the bears paws with a slightly red face, Heavy did his best to adjust the scope right and look through it to their next victim. Sure enough, he saw Spy approaching the mirror - which was in clear sight of the rifles view - while holding a hair-dryer. And, as the man lifted the hair dryer and switched the device on, a white power-like substance threw itself at the Spy's face at such a force it caused the man to drop it.

Heavy burst out laughing. Almost every drop had landed either on his face, in his still wet hair, or on his was clean suit. Heavy was thrown into a fit of laughter and chuckles as the Spy reacted accordingly, Sniper following suit. Spy's face was glued with shock at first as he wiped the power from his eyes, but it slowly turned into burning hate and gritted teeth.

''e's gonna kill us once 'e knows it was us,' Sniper said, looking over at his bigger friend.

'Da, he is...'

As they climbed down from the Snipers perch, it was now time to start plotting for their next prey.

* * *

Pyro and Demoman were stumbling out of the Wreck room, arms slung around each others shoulders as Demo slurred random gibbering and Pyro mumbled the same. Somehow, the black Scottish Cyclops had managed to get the fire-bug drunk, and were enjoying the buzz of the alcohol cursing through their body and the light feeling the Scrumpy gave them. Now, they had both sluggishly agreed to going to bed, and were helping each other in that deed. But a bucket of water awaited in their tracks, held up above the door - the same door they were about to exit through. Hidden behind the corner, Sniper and Heavy awaited to view their fate.

A loud crash and muffled cry's sounded. Their hit had been successful. Two rather heavy "_thumps_" and a very loud laughter could be heard, and as the two classes peaked around the corner to the other two sprawled out on the floor, they could see Demo's red face, his clothes soaking wet. Same for the fire-bug - its rubber clothes not being able to absorb the water very well, so the droplets just rolled off its body and to the already big puddle of water.

'AW MAN WAT WAS THAT PHAHAHA' They heard Demo slur before he plonked his head on the floor. Pyro just muffled giggles and moans of shock before mirroring his drunken friends actions, Sniper and Heavy making no move to help them.

Now to their last victim.

* * *

And their last inch of prey was the Medic. A hard contender, but one the both knew they could eventually fool. Even if Heavy was against the idea a little, but Sniper assured him nothing too bad would happen to the German. So, the both of them settled on removing the white stuff inside the oreo and replacing it with tooth paste. This took a while since the cookie always cracked or shattered, but they managed it in the end.

'You take it to 'im.' Sniper said, shoving the new oreo in the bears hands.

'...Uh, okay.'

He walked in the infirmary, feeling a little uneasy being in such a room. He saw the Scout in one of the beds, his face looking quite pale. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing slowly. Obviously the prank Sniper had pulled earlier had caused the boy to go that way.

'Um, Doktor...?' Heavy called gently. Medic was placed at the end of the hallway, filling in paper work before his attention was snapped away by the Russians voice.

'Ahh, herr Heavy! Vhat brings you here?' He got from his place and approached the man, eyeing his little offer. 'Ah, come to bring me something?'

'Da! Is...thank you gift for being such good Doktor!'

'Ah, danka!' He took the offering, about to take a bite before he eyed the Heavy through his specs. The bear suddenly grew un-easy. 'And I suppose 'zis is another one of your little pranks?'

'...Vhat?'

'Oh, please, herr Heavy,' Taking a step forward, he took a hold of one of the bears hands and opened it, placing the cookie in to his palm. Raising a brow at the action, he inspected the German. 'are you not telling me 'zat you cannot smell ze common smell of toothpaste?'

'...Oh.'

'It looks like you and herr Sniper have caused quite ze stir up as of late. Spy with ze talcum power in his hair, both Soldier and Engineer being vay too hyper for zheir own good, and herr Scout becoming sick of...jarate flavoured Bonk, it seemed.'

Right as he spoke, loud laughter could be heard rushing past the door, followed by a second laugh. They seemed to be coming from the Engineer and Soldier, and their foot-steps could be traced going down the hallway. The Scout moaned lightly before shifting on to his side, bringing his bandaged hands close to his chest and small snores leaving him. 'You von't get me so easily, dumpkoff.' Medic said lightly, a small smile across his wrinkle-free face.

'...Da, am...sorry, vill not happen again.' He gave an awkward smile to the other before rushing out of the room, clutching the cookie for dear life. Meanwhile, Medic just watched him, shaking his head with an amused grin. He was about to head back to his desk before he heard the sound of water splashing, a bucket clanking against the floor, and loud laughter from the outside of him room.

'Look out, mate - oI think it's rainin'!'

'Come back here, tiny man!'

Today was going to be a long day.


End file.
